Playing against David Beckham when I was a kid.

No, I didn't. But he must have been playing within 10 miles of me at some point.

So, how does one get the ball rolling? That's a tough question. I suspect the ride will include numerous somewhat entertaining anecdotes from many years of playing and coaching. I hope we'll pull in a wide range of football / soccer fanatics / gurus and create a thought provoking and useful conversation.

We shall now confirm that the beautiful game is to be referred to as 'soccer' from this point forward. I thank the collegiate cohort  in the mid 1800's for their laziness in requesting verbally when one joins in a game of 'association football' (kicking) and reducing it to 'assoc' and then soccer. No - the Americans don't call it that because of socks....

Let's start with a story. My mum always fouled me when we played in the back yard (garden - oh bother, this is pointless. You figure it out whichever side of the pond you are on). Not a 'Vinny Jones' style foul but even more deadly - tiggling. I thought I could evade any opponent after such an experience. No, this was not to be. He was called Peter Clark. Center back for Love Lane Primary School and Sweyne Secondary School. Peter is the nicest guy on the planet but when I was 11 he had hairy legs and was on the way to playing for Spurs. I can't remember ever scoring against him but he was very nice as he ripped the metal studs (cleats) of his adidas 'world cup' boots  (cleats, again) down the back of my ankle. I got to eventually play with Peter at Rayleigh Town. A much happier experience and less painful. His dad religiously cut the Rayleigh pitch (field) every week even though the ride on mower had a dodgy (bad) blades. We were the only team in the Essex Intermediate League with a skinhead (buzz cut) pitch.

Why do so many on this planet love the game? How comes more countries are members of FIFA than the United Nations? It is such a simple and beautiful sport. We'll discuss that later on. How does a country like the USA applying a media 'frenzy' to every viewing opportunity take the game from the middle class to 300 million people? Is David Beckham still a hero if that last minute free kick v Greece doesn't hit the 'old onion bag?'  What happens if the Russian linesman (AR) doesn't give a goal for England in 1966? Why did Sepp Blatter think the women's game would benefit from players wearing 'hotpants?' Were Arsenal the only team to perfect the flat back four and why the heck does that 2010 World Cup ball like the stratosphere?

OK. Let's start with a simple one. Indianapolis, IN. Having grown up with an east-end family only walking distance from Upton Park, who do people support here? The best team playing football in this 'neck of the woods' wear lycra, pads and write the plans on the inside of their sleeve. Opps, time for a TV timeout and a reminder about the virtues of lite beer. Don't get me started on lite beer. Google 'shandy' and you'll have it in two shakes of a donkey's tale...