I am Oscar. I am a grouch.

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Oscar makes me laugh. Sesame Street makes me laugh every time I watch – which is good emotionally, psychologically and physically right now. Oscar is a grouch and for about nine months I have been mean to my kids, Jill, I’ve drunk too much and been 2 seconds away from road rage every other day.

Why? Among a few other things, that is what coaching high school soccer will do to you given the Indiana High School Athletic Association rules and some of the people in and around the neighborhood. Before we take this dark ride on the rollercoaster of truth know this: back home in Essex we rarely ‘hired’ a ref. We officiated our own games. There was a ‘code of conduct’ amongst the sports staff keeping everyone in check and maintaining a level of control and safety that was outstanding.

When I was a kid playing school soccer not one parent or coach on the sideline ever said a word. When I was a teacher coaching soccer coaches and parents were quiet displaying a respect for the tough nature of refereeing a game. Once in a blue moon a parent would lose it. Some of us would quietly mention to the parent they should stick to encouragement. On rare occasions we would stop the game and tell the parent to go before we called the police.  It worked. Simon Watkins would stand face to face with parents and reduce them to dust if they dared to question a decision.

The sad fact is this. Despite being technically unqualified soccer / football officials we managed games with a level of respect and safety which kept the games moving, safe and coaches never questioned a single moment during the game. So now I find myself at this point. An explanation.

No names. My team is losing yet dominant. The ref is decent but not really calling the game in a balanced way. I know this as one or two of our parents, qualified officials, are starting to shout from the stands. I am starting to need to question decisions as the ref assistant keeps telling my forward to ‘stay onside’. Right. Ok. So my forward or any player can wander wherever they want. It’s up to the officials to decide if they are interfering with play. One final bad call. A free kick against us for a challenge immediately after an opposition player assaults our central midfielder. I get a yellow card for asking the ref why he did not see it and whether that is related to the fact he is wearing a wrap around pair of sunglasses.

Here is the thing. He walks away and I think this. What will he do if I remind him to take his sunglasses off. So I say it. Red card. That what he thinks. Interesting.

Long story short? I sit in the stands. The ref reminds the AD of the school we are playing I have to leave. He slides over and tells me this. I tell him I am not going to as my school has no one to coach them or be legally responsible for them. Regardless the AD insists I leave. He walks with me, like some naughty school kid around the field. I repeat my question about the safety of the players now not led by any member of staff from the school. I also remind him that I personally organized and set up two of his players (on the field at the time) attend a WHUIA player ID Camp for free. I actually offered his school 5 free places. Seems to me a respect call to let me sit rather than walk me out.

Nope. IHSSA rules rule. Do you know how many people at their school who thanked me for setting the 5 scholarships up? Zero.

10 minutes later the Indianapolis School Police turn up.

Policeman “I’m I here for you?”

Me “No idea – are you?”

Policeman “Are you the coach who was kicked out?’

Me “Yep”

Another 10 minutes later I negotiated me standing by the bus – rather than sitting in it. The game should have been stopped. Both coaches, one of which was not listed as a coach of the opponents, spent the second half standing at the halfway line shouting. I’m not a psycho but when I ask the ref’s assistant to move the opponent coaches back, the main ref came over to me and started shouting that I should not be speaking to them.

Interesting, I am remarkably calm in such moments. The inability of officials and coaches to deal with in game issues leaves me shocked.

So in terms of coaching HS Soccer – I am done. Read my previous blogs. I thought about drawing the comparison between Indiana HS rules and FIFA rules – alas, I am tired and lack the enthusiasm to do this. So, leave it to your imagination. When we play a game one day and the ref / assistant wait for  the attacker to engage they raise the flag. Next game the ref blows the whistle the second a hair on an attacker’s body strays offside.

There have been some great times and some great kids. 8 Hours driving back from Rome with Brian, Sam and Mike will always be with me. But I am done. Time to move on before the need to increase my medication overtakes the need to live an honest, healthy and productive life. After several years of working and coaching within Indiana I can honestly count the number of people who matter and do what they say they are going to do on one hand. I wonder if you reading know in your heart that you are one of them.