Ahem.... in the old days at the cinema for an epic you got an overture, intermission (with warm ice cream sold by an old lady with a tray hanging around her neck) and lengthy closing credits. Let's pretend the opening overture is a scene of fit young coaches walking, in slightly slower than real life speed, out at Chadwell Heath to 'fanfare for the common man'.
Come on, just up your ADHD medicine for me and read...
Day 6 was going to be a big day. Day 5 and coaching at the Chadwell Heath training ground with Scott Parker et al across the field was a pretty bloody big day. Now, from a true supporters perspective the emphasis at today's match was a gut wrenching primordial battle for survival. The next meal for the family back in the cave was 3 points. A loss was not an option against Liverpool.
I shall digress. Again...
Growing up in the late 70's to early 80's was tough if you followed your family's east end roots and supported the Hammers. Liverpool were, at that time, all powerful in England and Europe. It got a little predictable. West Ham haven't won at Anfield for 48 years and we weren't going to do it in that decade.
Tottenham had bought half the Argentinian team, Arsenal were really boring but always playing in the FA Cup. So you can guess which teams every kid supported. We call them 'fair weather' supporters. England has lots now who follow Manchester United and Chelsea. I can live with folks in the States following Arsenal, they play intelligent football but seeing an Englishman play for them is like finding a golden ticket - and your name's not Charlie Bucket.
I say that for this reason. When you pay your 50 quid to watch a top premier league side play count the englishmen on the field. The premier league holds a glittering array of talent - that are mostly foreign. As an international force England is not World Class. Neither are some of the stars in that England squad. How many English players are being sought after by Italian and Spanish clubs? When Owen Hargreaves appeared on the international scene playing at Bayern most of us were Owen who..? Such is our lack of perspective of quality outside the UK.
I grew up with my friends like Steve and Ian rubbing in another defeat, league title or cup of some kind. West Ham spent a fair amount of time in the old second division, now the Championship. These were dark days for football too. Hooliganism at league and international level. Deaths at Belgium and Hillsborough. England teams were eventually booted out of European competitions and are still playing catch up.
So, in a nutshell, the only moments of joy for a Hammers fan were watching the likes of Brooking, Devonshire and nicking the FA Cup off an arrogant Arsenal side in 1980. And, when I see that 7 of the 23 players in the England squad for South Africa were products of the West Ham academy, I am both proud and sad. There are 20 teams in the Premier League, 92 professional clubs in the Football League overall. If each Premier league team offered 7 players for international duty the squad would be 140. The other teams are doing something wrong.
Back to 2011 and Upton Park...
If you stay in the hotel at Upton Park you have to clear your room at 7:00 am. Mmmmm, looked like my overnight stay with mum and dad was a cracking idea! Driving up to London with my parents is lovely. Firstly, I don't get to see them much and the east end is were they grew up, met and fell
in love. Note: at this point my mum is saying (as she reads this) "but I lived in Hainault". Come on mum - dad walked home from there once...
On driving in wearing extensive West Ham coaching apparel the freshly printed 'MS' told the security guard he should back off - love it.... 'come 'n 'ave a go if ya fink ya 'ard enuff...
Inside the stadium the coaching gang are in the Thames Ironworks Bar, which is the ticket only spot for posh people and player's family members. It's a great spot as the place has a pre-match buzz, Kieron Dyer is eating a spot of lunch and we contemplate buying a round of shots for the the match officials (as they nibble sandwiches in their stuffy FA ties).
1:00 pm and it all goes nutty. Key points and OMG moments as follows:
- Ben Illingworth walks in with tickets and bar passes for us. Time for a pitch side visit.
- We walk past the dressing rooms, down the tunnel and up onto the pitch. Upton Park is half full already and sold out today. Yes Spurs, we can fill the Olympic Stadium you toe-rags.
- US Partner Club coaches have a pitch side team photo and stand for a while as both teams warm up. Parker, Hitz, Noble, Tomkins, Green, Upson, Cole, Ba, Piquionne, Spector...... OK, for the scousers I'll mention Gerrard, Johnson, Cole (both former products of the Academy), Suarez, N'gog....
- the crowd are watching the players and looking at us. Who are they? Very bloody important people - that's who young man.
- the Hammers move their warm up to our side and in a truly 'is this happening to me' kind of moment, my heros are playing 'keep away' 6 feet in front of me. Blimey... I'm wearing West Ham gear, should I jump in? Nah, need to keep them positive, don't want to show them up...
- back down the tunnel past the bubble machines.
- all good things come to an end. Back up to the stand for the game.
INTERMISSION
OK. At this point I am conscious of the length of this blog. Not being sure of the etiquette with respect to blog length I shall continue. I mean, how long is a piece of string? Please read on and enjoy. Alternatively, make a cuppa or go and do a wee, poo or both, now - just come back. Get your mum to sell you some ice cream. You've got this far - no one climbs Everest, gets halfway, takes a snap of the view and then pops home for an early night because Bergerac is on BBC 2.
No, read on and risk death by blog.
Part 2
One: Watching West Ham is a true roller coaster ride. This season the tracks have been especially bumpy. Half a game of magic, half a game of insanity. Today, a good start is vital otherwise the atmosphere will become uneasy and thick with an anxiety that you can almost touch.
Two: Never leave you seat, or chat to your girlfriend on the mobile phone when at a game. There are no replays. It is constant, unpredictable and live. When the Hammers concede a goal there is a second of silence before the 5 thousand traveling fans roar. Then the home fans express their opinion verbally. It's horrible.
But, the Hammers scoring is something else. The place goes mental. Truly nutty. Players run over to the crowd and we all go mental. They return to the pitch for kick off and 'going mental' turns into a rousing version of "I'm forever blowing bubbles". It's like the troubled lives of 30,000 depressed descendants of east end working class squalor are lifted and we are fleetingly happy. Kind of 'the war is over' / won the lottery / just got a yes from the 'tasty girl across the classroom who is clearly way out of my league' sort of feeling.
After the game we hung out in the posh bar. Everyone is pretending to talk to their respective friends, but really it's like a coaching session with 'check your shoulder' as the topic. Oh, by the way. Watch Frank Lampard play and you'll see him looking over his shoulder all the time. You must have a picture of the field around you to play the game properly. It's essential so coach it.
So, who did we hang out with? Jonathon Spector, Julien Faubert, Wayne Bridges, James Tomkins, Robert Green, Demba Ba, Thomas 'the hammer' Hitz, Anton Ferdinand, the man from that ITV show whose name I can't remember and Ian Wright, who nipped in for the loo.
The refs came back too. The pre-match shots now seemed like a good idea. Might have helped them wake up a little in the first half.
Jonathon Spector was top class. He came over and met the guys, especially as fellow countrymen were in the house. A pleasure to meet and talk to. He was fine with us taking pics - I shook his hand, thanked him for doing such a good job at the club and told him how his presence at West Ham helps raise the profile of the club back home. I'm not an 'autograph' kind of guy. Just wanted to say thank you to a player who has settled and made a difference this season.
Dinner. Soup, fish in a light sauce with dill, roast pork, rosemary / sage roast potatoes (Mark ate 20 - but he is from Huddersfield), crackling - bloody crackling and carrot cake. The chef even sent out 2 sticky toffee puddings for us. Top drawer grub. Lovely people.
And so our last day at the 'Academy of Football' drew to a close.
A cuppa with my mum and dad.
A priceless 'behind the scenes' perspective of match day at Upton Park.
Another classic Scott Parker performance.
3 precious points that may save the season
A chat with my new mate Jonathon Spector.
Roast pots, gravy and pork crackling.
What a bloody great day.
Day 7 - the final day?
One final thing to do. Walk from John and Violet Self's house on Wakefield Street to the ground, which I'll share with you.
Some people to thank.
Home to Indiana to my beautiful triplets, Henry, Hannah, Ella. And, Jilly :)
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