This weekend was a low point in the grand scheme of coaching football. I want to tell you the story - share a couple of emails - and then you can make your own mind up.
I have so much to say about West Ham United, too. Kids come first though. More on BFS, Carroll and the post holiday demise of the Irons later. I’ll even sell you Frank Lampard as the ‘Golden One’ of English Football and the center of a National Team. Too late for Frank now, sadly.
Firstly, let me show you the scenario after 6 weeks of recreational soccer:
League Standings: Rec Plus Boys
U10 Boys-West Ham United-Self-Sport Gray
Played 6 Won 0 Lost 6 Tied 0
Goals For 11 Goals aganist 52 (when counted) GD -41
With a squad of 9 players - 2 girls and one only 8 years old, we ventured into the homogeneous world of Northside indoor soccer. It’s a U10 Boys league - some teams are set up by the ‘house’ some are externally organized and brought in. ‘Travel’ soccer players are not allowed to participate. Anyone off the street can coach a team if they get in early enough. Girls are allowed to play in this league, I was told.
We’ve not had a great experience - the kids on the team are hanging on, like kids do. It takes all my experience as a teacher and coach to motivate, enthuse and turn defeat into some kind of learning experience. What is shocking is the utter lack of empathy towards other teams and the utter lack of quality coaching. Here is a brief overview of some classic moments. Let’s preface this with (and for those of you who know me) a honest admission that I have not stood back and taken this. Over the last three weeks I have chosen to speak directly to the coaches and ask them to re-consider their tactics. They don’t like that - I’m pretty nice, but I’m not prepared to be quiet when an 8 year old nearly gets knocked out, or a team playing us when we have 3 girls on the field just stick their strongest players out there regardless.
Here are a highlight of a few classic moments:
A team with 3 coaches all shouting at the player with the ball - and shouting different things “dribble” or “shoot”. Shouting to the extent that the overall impact is to simply confuse al the players. (Please remember these are 8/9 or young 10 year olds in a country that spends most of it’s time with a ball in its hands).
A coach who complains because our team are not out and ready to play for the second half - when we had already conceded 12 goals in 20 minutes. He asked me what I was doing - I said “coaching them”. His answer was “parents have come to see their kids play. After the game, one of the quieter coaches agreed with me on the point that we should not shout at kids with the ball - single channel theory tells us the human brain cannot process 2 complex tasks simultaneously.
A coach, when asked if he would keep a slightly weaker 7 on the field for the last 7 minutes of the game (opponents were 12-0 up at this point) told his players a few minutes later to “let us score a goal” - He then proceed to ask me if I was happy. I shook his hand after the game and told him he should be ashamed.
The same coach - after “letting” us score a goal, lets his team shoot from the kick off and score. I step on the field to get our kids going again and take off the lad who is in tears; because the opponents laughed at him when he missed a chance to score.
Alongside a lack of respect from the other coaches - a ref who stands and watches while 9/10 year kids re-start a game like they are playing the American version of football, or let’s players, with their back turned, stamp their feet into a tackle.
Here is the letter I wrote following the last game:
Hope all is well - my team have enjoyed playing, learned a lot and appreciate the opportunity to participate in the U10 boys rec league. I think the set up has a lot of merit - and lots of parents and kids have access to soccer during the winter. However, I am trying very hard to keep my team positive and enthusiastic after 6 games. We've lost them all - played with 2 (3 today) girls and not really encountered much support from the other teams. We've conceded an official 52 goals - but, of course, that is probably about 15 less than actual given the overall score is not displayed on the board. We had an 8 year old nearly knocked out last week - and our team yesterday were in emotional tatters.
The last 3 weeks have been increasingly difficult as opponent coaches are not willing to be supportive. Last week the coach was critical to our team when we were not ready to start the second half on time. I spent an extra 1:30 trying to explain to our team about keeping their shape. We had conceded about 11/12 goals in the first half. You know me - I had no problem talking back to him.
This week - I asked the coach, with 7:30 to go, if he would play his less strong seven for the remaining time in the game. We were losing about 11/12 to 0. He simply told his players a few minutes later to let us score. The lack of sportsmanship was surprising - I had 8 players, a ninth who was my 3rd daughter stepping in for her sick brother - so we had girls on the field the whole time. Right at that point - the navy blue team proceeded to shoot from the kick off and score. I got my players all together and gave them some encouragement - on the field - and took off one lad who was in tears. This is all after requesting they be more inclusive.
I know I am passionate about coaching and I stand up for my players - I haven't really seen any empathy from other teams. I am using every inch of my years of experience to carry these kids through this experience - but it is extremely hard.
If you ask the young lad who refs our games - he'll tell you I am a crazy - complain too much / talk to the other coaches (well, only last three games) and he doesn't like it when I need to I get on the field to help individuals, I was sad today to hear him side with the opposing coach and tell him 'he's always like this' and joining him in calling me a hypocrite - right in front of me (but away from the kids).
After all the years coaching and teaching sport, I am sad to say there is a lack of sportsmanship and a lack of 'learning' in this U10 rec league. I feel strongly there should be an emphasis on sportsmanship and how to play the game at the age of 8, 9 and 10. The other teams do not know how to start a game properly - and other coaches don't say anything. The navy blue coach called me a hypocrite because I shout all the time. I actually talk to all my players off the ball with positional guidance and simply encourage alone the way. He spent the game shouting shoot. I know I can't do anything about it and I am not expecting you to. Just describing the experience.
I know I may over-step the mark with my comments to other coaches - but there is a lack of understanding on their part and I do not feel the need to apologize for my passion and sense of what is right. Today - one of my hardest working and committed players left the field in tears during the game.
I have a responsibility to support, coach and protect my players - honestly, I am close to the point where I would rather tell them the season is done and I will personally reimburse them for the last 2 games.
Again, I am grateful for everything you all do at your facility For me, having coached kids for 26 years from 4 year olds upwards - all the way to a team that won U19 English Schools honors and my work with West Ham United's Academy, I simply expect more of people coaching kids. If there was anything I would suggest - it would be to have a more experienced ref who has the ability and expectation to get out on the field and take advantage of learning opportunities. I also understand you are running a business too!
For the last 2 weeks I will focus on my team - and refrain from any comments to coaches and referees.
With thanks and regards,
Matt
For the record, and with my friend Joel’s permission - I’ll add the email he sent to me after watching the last game:
As a spectator I found it frustrating to watch as the other team, and obviously the coach too, showed little if any compassion for what they were doing. As a coach, even I viewed their selfishness of the game unsportsmanlike like. I've learned over my short 14 years coaching career that nearly 95% of the coaches have an ego too large to fit on the pitch and therefore they can't stomach any sort of criticism from a fellow coach least of all if it has a hint of direction in it. Closed minded coaching is a cancer in this sport. Not enough are willing to step outside of their own team and see what they can do to help. I noticed he moved away from you after you spoke with him and kept moving further as you continued to ask him for assistance. It's so unfortunate that a team that obviously is the dominate of the two doesn't at least take an approach to hear you out. The worst thing I witnessed out of the entire match was his way of "letting your team score". That really shows his lack of experience of teaching the game. Last I heard Indiana State Soccer Association still educates coaches that U10 is a learning age group. It's embarrassing as a D License coach to see how someone takes the fun out of the sport like he did Saturday.
Joel's comment “Closed minded coaching is a cancer in this sport” is a fabulous one.
Right on the mark.
What would you do in my shoes? Continue to ‘fight the fight’ or step away from it and try to focus completely on the kids? What would you do as a parent if your son / daughter played for a team that were just being nailed week in week out? We are not talking senior level - 8, 9 and 10 year old kids.
Honestly, I’m appalled. I wish I could work out how to turn this around and educate parents and coaches on how important it is to see the bigger picture when kids are learning how to play at an early age. Fight the fights worth fighting?
If you’re interested come at see our next game - this Saturday at 12pm. Let me know if want to know where!
Fingers crossed that Arsenal get the job done tomorrow. Well done Blackburn. Garry and the gang are probably exhausted after 92 minutes at Anfield today.
Matt
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