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Oscar makes me laugh. Sesame
Street makes me laugh every time I watch – which is good emotionally,
psychologically and physically right now. Oscar is a grouch and for about nine
months I have been mean to my kids, Jill, I’ve drunk too much and been 2 seconds
away from road rage every other day.
Why? Among a few other
things, that is what coaching high school soccer will do to you given the
Indiana High School Athletic Association rules and some of the people in and
around the neighborhood. Before we take this dark ride on the rollercoaster of
truth know this: back home in Essex we rarely ‘hired’ a ref. We officiated our
own games. There was a ‘code of conduct’ amongst the sports staff keeping everyone
in check and maintaining a level of control and safety that was outstanding.
When I was a kid playing
school soccer not one parent or coach on the sideline ever said a word. When I
was a teacher coaching soccer coaches and parents were quiet displaying a
respect for the tough nature of refereeing a game. Once in a blue moon a parent
would lose it. Some of us would quietly mention to the parent they should stick
to encouragement. On rare occasions we would stop the game and tell the parent
to go before we called the police. It
worked. Simon Watkins would stand face to face with parents and reduce them to
dust if they dared to question a decision.
The sad fact is this. Despite
being technically unqualified soccer / football officials we managed games with
a level of respect and safety which kept the games moving, safe and coaches
never questioned a single moment during the game. So now I find myself at this
point. An explanation.
No names. My team is losing
yet dominant. The ref is decent but not really calling the game in a balanced
way. I know this as one or two of our parents, qualified officials, are starting
to shout from the stands. I am starting to need to question decisions as the
ref assistant keeps telling my forward to ‘stay onside’. Right. Ok. So my
forward or any player can wander wherever they want. It’s up to the officials
to decide if they are interfering with play. One final bad call. A free kick against
us for a challenge immediately after an opposition player assaults our central
midfielder. I get a yellow card for asking the ref why he did not see it and
whether that is related to the fact he is wearing a wrap around pair of
sunglasses.
Here is the thing. He walks
away and I think this. What will he do if I remind him to take his sunglasses
off. So I say it. Red card. That what he thinks. Interesting.
Long story short? I sit in
the stands. The ref reminds the AD of the school we are playing I have to
leave. He slides over and tells me this. I tell him I am not going to as my
school has no one to coach them or be legally responsible for them. Regardless
the AD insists I leave. He walks with me, like some naughty school kid around
the field. I repeat my question about the safety of the players now not led by
any member of staff from the school. I also remind him that I personally
organized and set up two of his players (on the field at the time) attend a
WHUIA player ID Camp for free. I actually offered his school 5 free places.
Seems to me a respect call to let me sit rather than walk me out.
Nope. IHSSA rules rule. Do
you know how many people at their school who thanked me for setting the 5
scholarships up? Zero.
10 minutes later the Indianapolis
School Police turn up.
Policeman “I’m I here for
you?”
Me “No idea – are you?”
Policeman “Are you the coach
who was kicked out?’
Me “Yep”
Another 10 minutes later I
negotiated me standing by the bus – rather than sitting in it. The game should
have been stopped. Both coaches, one of which was not listed as a coach of the
opponents, spent the second half standing at the halfway line shouting. I’m not
a psycho but when I ask the ref’s assistant to move the opponent coaches back,
the main ref came over to me and started shouting that I should not be speaking
to them.
Interesting, I am remarkably
calm in such moments. The inability of officials and coaches to deal with in
game issues leaves me shocked.
So in terms of coaching HS
Soccer – I am done. Read my previous blogs. I thought about drawing the
comparison between Indiana HS rules and FIFA rules – alas, I am tired and lack
the enthusiasm to do this. So, leave it to your imagination. When we play a
game one day and the ref / assistant wait for
the attacker to engage they raise the flag. Next game the ref blows the
whistle the second a hair on an attacker’s body strays offside.
There have been some great
times and some great kids. 8 Hours driving back from Rome with Brian, Sam and
Mike will always be with me. But I am done. Time to move on before the need to
increase my medication overtakes the need to live an honest, healthy and
productive life. After several years of working and coaching within Indiana I
can honestly count the number of people who matter and do what they say they
are going to do on one hand. I
wonder if you reading know in your heart that you are one of them.
